by Elizabeth Eyre
Art by Ida Henrich
I think one of the biggest misconceptions of Asexuality is that we don’t feel love.
I’ve had an incredibly loving relationship with my boyfriend of eight years. There are many different reasons people might be asexual. For me, I’ve personally been in the position of a very serious case of sexual assault and the memories are something I haven’t been able to shake. I remember too what happened to me before the assault; I had a very strange and self-conscious relationship with sex, I never really enjoyed it. For some people, it’s just the way they are. I think the hardest thing about being asexual is that we’re in a grey area of not being wanted by some of the LGBTQIA+ community and also being rejected by the straight community. We often exist in our own plane of rules and awareness.
I remember before I came out as asexual, knowing I was different but not having an explanation. It was confusing for me. It made me seriously depressed because I felt like a freak. Why couldn’t I engage and enjoy something I was biologically wired to do? I just didn’t understand. Then I realised it’s okay to just be me, to live the life I was already living. I wasn’t harming anyone, I wasn’t offending anyone (although, weirdly enough, people have found ways to be immensely offended by my lack of interest in sex – strange, huh?)
Nothing about my life has changed because of my asexuality. I live with the trauma and mental health issues that come with what I went through but being asexual gave me the empowerment I needed and my partner has been nothing but supportive. I think if anything, coming out as asexual has made our bond stronger and gives me personally a lot of strength, even now. I’ve also found the asexual community to be very compassionate, empathetic and supportive; a group of people who’ve welcomed me with open arms.
Asexuals shouldn’t be invisible; our feelings, like everyone else’s, are valid.
Elizabeth Eyre
Elizabeth Eyre works under pseudonym. She is a UK-based storyteller, writer and filmmaker who likes cake and fruity desserts.
Ida Henrich is a German Cartoonist, Illustrator and Designer based in Scotland. She has worked with award winning publishers, online coaches and magazines. Ida is a graduate of Communication Design at the Glasgow School of Art where she specialised in Illustration. In her own work she explores themes such as sex-education, growing up, and women’s experiences. Her comics and illustrations are written for both men and women and aim to start an open dialogue between partners, friends, parents, and children about their experiences. Ida believes that Art is a powerful way to make ideas and feelings tangible.
As Art Editor at Fearless Femme, Ida is responsible for all things visual, including the correspondence with our visual artists, the design and realisation of the online magazine and the illustration of our amazing cover women. She also creates artwork for some of our articles, poems and stories.
Ida loves her coffee in the morning, that feeling after finishing an illustration and going for a run in the (Scottish) sun; and pilates on the rainy days. Ida enjoys SciFi books and autobiographies, and autobiographical comics. She is always delighted to meet new people on trains but is also smitten being home alone colouring in an illustration that she has made way too intricate while listening to Woman’s Hour. You can contact her at ida@fearlessly.co.uk.
