by Abigail Cook
Illustration by Sophie Chen
Content Warning: brief mentions of eating disorders, violence and self-harm
We are
those girls.
Who came together
through indifference
and love,
sharing connections
we didn’t even realise
we had.
We are those girls
who saw
a minefield
in the school classroom
but somehow
found one another
to take cover
with.
We are those girls
who
smoked cigarettes
in the backs of
gardens
and hid smokey breath
underneath chewing gum.
We are those girls
who got
blackout drunk at house parties
and told secrets
we didn’t realise we had.
We are those girls
repressed by
small-town life:
our fishbowl
world.
We are those girls
who dreamt
entire galaxies
into existence
whilst doodling
in schoolbooks
but never felt like
this world
was ours.
We are those girls
who were assumed
to be bad at
basketball
and so fractured
fingers
as we played,
to gain points,
to prove points.
We are those girls
who fell in love
with
that girl.
Who willed ourselves
to have husbands
and a “proper family”
all whilst imagining
what it would be like
to trace
the outline
of her
lips.
We are those girls
who tucked
secrets into our bras
like banknotes.
Like how
when we went home
our fathers spat on us.
Or how
one of us spent
two days
missing
and still didn’t
get told
that somebody
loved her.
Or how
three of us
developed eating disorders
at 14.
And how one of us
was choked by the boyfriend
who later cheated
on her.
And that
two of us
had family members
who made
victims of us
long before
we ever cried about it.
We are those girls
who filled
the air around our words
with text messages
and self-hatred,
where eyebrows
are on fleek
but our eyes
are watery from kissing
toilet bowls.
We are the girls
who drink
apple flavoured
vodka
next to world war two memorials
because the fight still continues,
and we’ve never needed
guns in our hands
to know that.
Who buy
£60
worth of weed
and can only be honest
when we’ve
smoked the lot of it.
We are those girls who
popped pills,
and kissed razor blades,
and set fire to lungs
all to kill
our
bad bits.
We are those girls
who became a political
conversation
long before
we could learn to say
“no”,
with our church confessional
bodies
and heavy bones
because
silence speaks loud too
you see.
We are those girls
who found solace
in each others
laughter
and held each others’
hair when we were sick.
We are those girls
who borrowed
each others’
lipsticks
and kissed each others’ cheeks.
We are those girls
who were so
beautiful,
and loved
so hard.
We are those girls.
We are those traumas
and those memories
and those lives.
And we will turn into
those women
who I will be proud
to know.
Because,
we are those girls.
We are these stories.
Abigail Cook
Abigail Cook is a writer, performer, and artist from London, England. Winner of the National Youth Slam title in 2015, Abigail works as a professional poet and creator in various different artistic mediums.
Sophie Chen
Sophie Chen is embroidery designer based in Glasgow for womenswear and graduated from the Glasgow School of Art. These photographs and drawings works for my graduate embroidery collection are about expressing particular views on women and their relationship with the natural work.
