Words by Patty Vengeance
Photography by Raphael Schaller via Unsplash
Dyscalculia: Severe difficulty in making arithmetical calculations, as a result of brain disorder
Ticking that box
will label me disabled,
but I’ve always thought
I was more than capable
of getting by
without help, without handouts
Scraping past by myself
but I figured it out.
Why now do you want to support me?
I know I’m getting better don’t need someone to show me
I know how to spell
the knowledge doesn’t escape me
But what’s the point in trying when you’ve already judged me?
We are so far past the point
of pencil grips and extra time.
You know nothing of my suffering
let alone the amount of time,
wasted chasing numbers
feeling desperate, thick and stupid
being told as much
by teachers, mums and students.
All the while devising ropey coping mechanisms
taking mental notes
on every criticism
Building up this picture of myself as they saw me
then ripping it to shreds,
and leaving it behind me.
